Mindset Moments

February...it's a little bit funny, this feeling inside

It’s the month of heart‑shaped everything, menus for two you didn’t ask for and the subtle (sometimes not‑so‑subtle) suggestion that if someone hasn’t booked you a table, bought you flowers, or declared undying love by the 14th… something may be wrong. Oh god, the memories of the awful school Valentine's Post Box have just come flooding back. I can't actually believe they allowed that cruelty. The disappointment and self-loathing when there was nothing in there for you. Did any of you have them at school?

Anyway, where was I....oh yes...every year, without fail, a few people tell me:

“I really don't like February.”

Not because of the weather. Not because of the short days. But because it shines a very bright spotlight on relationships and sometimes the lack, messiness, or complication of them.

So instead of Valentine’s… or Galentine’s… or any other version that still quietly centres on someone else… I want to offer a different idea this February.

Let’s call it Me‑Intine.

Yes, it sounds ridiculous. Its not great spelling and may not make sense right now, but that’s part of the charm...so bear with me.

Why date yourself?

Before your brain rolls its eyes and mutters “self‑love waffle”… hear me out.

Dating yourself isn’t about bubble baths, starting an affirmations jar in your best swirly handwriting, or pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.

It’s about intentionally spending time with yourself...without distraction, judgement or agenda.

Think of it like this:

Most of us are in the longest relationship of our lives… with ourselves.

And yet we rarely:

• listen properly

• make time

• follow through on what we say we’ll do

• or check in on how that relationship is actually going
  
  

We’ll show up early, dress nicely and be attentive for a stranger from a Hinge… yet cancel on ourselves at the first sign of tiredness, doubt or inconvenience.

Which brings me to this important question:

What’s the worst that could happen on a date with yourself?

Honestly? Probably nothing.

And even if it does go wrong...it’s still likely to be better than some real‑life first dates.

Case in point…if you'll indulge me for a moment

A brief (and painful) dating anecdote

A beautiful tor view, a handsome half Italian stallion (as I like to remember him), giggles, heart fluttering's and eyelash wafting. Then begins what was meant to be a gentle walk back down the very steep grassy hill.

“Gentle” being the key word.

Somewhere between confidence and gravity, my legs decided they were no longer in a committed relationship with the rest of my body.

I picked up speed. Then more speed. Then physics took over.

I somersaulted down the hill and landed in a humiliating, muddy heap at the bottom.

Romantic.

I lay there, dazed, covered in dirt, trying to work out if I was more injured or more embarrassed. He acted genuinely concerned to start with and as soon as he knew I was alive and breathing...he pissed himself laughing. And so did I to be fair (thank god my pelvic floor was in shape back then).

I thank everything that social media wasn’t a thing back then. Otherwise, I’d absolutely be a looping GIF.

Get my point? A date with yourself is unlikely to involve public humiliation, mud, or a sudden loss of dignity.

And if it does? At least you’ll be kind about it. And you won't have to share it on socials...unless of course you want to go viral.

Why it matters (and the evidence)

When people create intentional space with themselves, even small amounts, something interesting happens.

They:

• make clearer decisions

• feel less reactive

• build self‑trust

• notice what they actually enjoy (not what they think they should)

• feel more grounded in their choices

Psychologically, this kind of self‑attunement strengthens emotional regulation, self‑compassion and autonomy.

Practically? It stops you outsourcing your sense of worth, direction and validation to:

• other people

• busy schedules

• productivity

• or constant noise
  
  

In coaching, I see it all the time.

The people who struggle most aren’t always lacking motivation. They’re lacking connection with themselves.

Me‑Intine is a way back.

How to date yourself (without making it weird)

This isn’t about grand gestures or expensive plans. Think low pressure, high presence.

A few ideas:

An invitational action

If February feels busy, tender or full already, just pick one of these:

A final thought

You don’t need fixing. You don’t need improving. You don’t need to become a “better version” of yourself this month.

You might just need to spend a little more time with the version that already exists.

February doesn’t have to be about romance, pressure or comparison.

It can be about:

• presence

• self‑trust

• and learning how to be on your own side

Which, incidentally, makes every other relationship better too.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." – Aristotle

...and a little one from me..."Going on a date with yourself: slightly weird, totally necessary and occasionally GIF-worthy..” 😉

If this idea of reconnecting with yourself feels important but hard to figure out ... coaching can help.

Not to change who you are. But to understand yourself better, make clearer choices and build a relationship with your life that actually fits.

If you’re curious, you can book a FREE introductory call below.

No pressure. No fixing. Just a conversation with me.