Mindset Moments
Tell me if something in this sounds familiar to you...
Sometime around now, or maybe a few weeks ago (or even months ago)...you opened a tab on one of your devices, then you opened another one...and then about fourteen more. You compared accommodation, read TripAdvisor reviews from people called 'Sunseeker Sue 43' (who seems very well travelled and equally opinionated), you checked flight times, cross-referenced the weather, went down a 'Reddit' rabbit hole, made a packing list, probably joined a Facebook group for people who've been to the same resort, and spent a deeply enjoyable Sunday afternoon with a 'Aperol Spritz' planning two weeks away to the absolute last detail.
You were impressively thorough, full of energy for the task and exceptionally organised. You were, quite frankly, rather magnificent.
And then on a Monday morning you went back to your job, your life, or a situation that you've been vaguely meaning to "think about properly" for the last two years.
Sound familiar? I thought so.
The holiday planning paradox.
Here's what I find genuinely fascinating about this, and I say this with absolutely no judgement because I am also a person who has spent an unreasonable amount of time planning our Sicily summer tour this year. I'm obsessive about finding the perfect accommodation I can for our budget, creating spreadsheets with options and links, and joining the various Sicily social media groups....plus of course now scrolling through endless Sicily social media reels because the algorithms know how to tempt me. All this whilst I should be trying to gain clarity on the bigger picture of my own life.
We are exceptional planners when it comes to our holidays.
We research the why, the what, the where and the when. We think about the how and the budget. We think about what we actually want from it, what experiences we want to have...do we want relaxing or adventurous? Beach or city? Somewhere new or somewhere beloved? We consider who we're going with and what will work for everyone. We think about what we'll need, what we'll enjoy, how we want to feel when we come back.
We apply genuine, focused thought to these vital two weeks of our lives.
And then we return to our actual life, the other fifty weeks of the year and wing it almost entirely.
No real vision of where we're heading. No curiosity about what matters most to us right now and no honest look at whether where we are still fits. Just a vague, background intention to "figure it out eventually" that gets quietly rolled forward, month after month, year after year.
Why do we do this?
Partly, I think, it's because a holiday season has a deadline...it's amazing how a fixed timeframe of opportunity can concentrate the mind wonderfully. Also, it's not always just about us, other people are involved and are relying on us to make decisions and possibly even sort the whole thing out. So we don't want to let the side down.
Whereas, your next chapter has no such deadline. And it's about you. It just sits there, patiently, not going anywhere, very easy to come back to later.
Partly too because planning a holiday is genuinely enjoyable. There's much less risk involved, limited vulnerability and no uncomfortable questions about whether you're living in a way that still makes sense for who you are now. It's just...very nice thank you very much.
And partly...this is the one I think is most worth sitting with...planning your next chapter requires you to actually know what you want. Which is harder than it sounds, especially if you've spent the last couple of decades being very good at what was needed, rather than particularly tuned in to what you actually want.
A holiday destination is relatively low stakes if you get it wrong. "What do I want the next chapter of my life to look like?" is a bigger question, and bigger questions have a habit of making us reach for another TripAdvisor tab.
What would happen if you applied the same energy?
A question to ponder on (I know I do).
What if you brought even a fraction of the focus, curiosity and genuine thought you give to planning two weeks away... to thinking about the two, five or more years?
Before you tell me to buzz off and book a flight out of your thoughts...stick with me here.
Not in a terrifying, pressure-filled "I must have it all figured out by Thursday" kind of way. Just with the same willingness to actually sit down, think about what you want, be honest about what isn't working and make some deliberate small, simple step choices rather than just letting life happen at you.
What would you actually want, if you let yourself think about it?
Don't just automatically think about what's sensible, what you're supposed to want or what other people want for you. And don't think through the lens of the fifteen years ago version of you that you've never updated.
What do you want? Right now, from this point forward.
When I ask clients this question, there's always a big pause and a physical response too....you know the kind of thing...the big sigh, a deep breath, a shoulder shrug, the involuntary eyebrow movement, a shift in the chair, a look away or down, the uncontrolled giggle or laughter. Because it turns out a lot of us are much better at planning where to have dinner on holiday than we are at answering that question honestly.
A few places to start
You don't need a five year plan and you definitely don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to start paying a bit more attention, the same way you'd start researching a trip by just opening the first tab.
Start with a little time, curiosity and honesty, plus a sprinkling of positive possibilities. And don't shut down your ideas and thoughts at the first feeling of resistance. Stay open to your ideas and why not...
Ask yourself what you actually want from this next bit.
Not what you should want, not what makes practical sense or what everyone else thinks. This is about what YOU think.
What would feel like the right direction from here? Rest? Adventure? More meaning? A big change? A small tweak? More of something that's currently missing? Less of something that's draining you? Even a vague answer is more useful than no answer at all.Notice where the energy goes and where it drains away.
Think about the last month. What left you feeling good, energised, or like yourself?
And what consistently left you feeling flat, tired, or quietly resentful? Your energy is very honest, it's worth tuning into and listening to what it is trying to tell you.Ask the holiday question.
When you're planning a trip, you probably think about how you want to feel when you come back. Perhaps it's that, two weeks from now, I want to feel rested and restored. Like I switched off properly.
What if you asked the same question about the next chapter of your life? A year from now, five years from now...how do I want to feel? What do I want to be true that isn't true now? It's a deceptively simple question that tends to cut through quite a lot of noise.
And if you want some help thinking it through
Sometimes what's most useful is an actual conversation with someone who has no agenda other than helping you get clearer.
Someone who isn't your partner, your best friend, or your colleague who might have opinions about what you should do. Just someone to think it through with, properly, without judgement.
That's what coaching is. So, if any of this is landing and you feel like a conversation with me would be super valuable for you then I'd love to have that chat with you.
No pressure, no sales pitch, no being told what you should want. Just a free 30-minute introductory call where we can think about where you are, where you'd like to be and whether coaching might help you get there.
A final thought
'Sunseeker Sue 43'...whoever she is, with her endless travel advice and strong opinions...at least she cared enough to think about it and write it down.
You deserve at least that much attention applied to your own life.
The holiday is lovely...it really is...and you absolutely should plan it in magnificent, tab-opening, socials scrolling, review-reading, spreadsheet starting detail.
But when you get back, deeply rested and slightly peeling...maybe give the next chapter a little of that same energy.
It's worth the research.
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." ~ John Lennon
And from me: "Absolutely plan the holiday. Then come home and give your next chapter at least half the thought you gave to 'Sunseeker Sue 43's compact luggage recommendations."
Remember, if you’re curious, you can book a FREE introductory call below.
Hi I'm Zoë Schofield
Your dedicated Career, Life & Personal Development Coach.
Clarity + Courage for Crossroad Moments
I help people navigate career crossroads, life transitions and everything in between... through curiosity, clarity, confidence and perhaps a little humour too along the way!
I've been where you are; successful on paper but unsure what's next, perhaps pulled in too many directions and craving something more aligned. My coaching is practical, human and gently challenging. No pressure to have it all figured out, just real support to help you reconnect with what matters and take action from there.
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